Same-sex marriage needs to be passed so we can move on to the next step, as I desperately want to marry this really beautiful sheep I met recently. I mean, if you only just knew her, you too would be wanting to tie her halter to a fence post and sneak slyly up behind her.

When she goes “Baaa aa aaaa”, it gives me such a rise, Wow! I mean, who needs Cialis?

I have a friend who is really into young male goats. Shouldn’t he have a right to persue his sexual lusts just the same as any pair of psychotic human males or females? If two men can leap into bed with each other and happily frolic, inserting their penises into any and all available apertures that confront them, then why not a man and a young male goat? Humm? Answer me that if you can.

There are women who want sex with horses. I know this from watching “Little Big Man”. Other women have lap dogs that lap, and lap, and lap. And lap. And keep lapping. Is there any reason they should be prevented from entering into Holy Matrimony with their favorite pet, creature or beast?

I say Let It All Hang Out! Men marry men, women marry women, anybody marry anything. I personally want to marry that lovely sheep I mentioned. Listen, that sheep and I will have just as many children between us as any pair of homosexuals, and if I love that sheep, then why shouldn’t that sheep benefit from my health insurance and retirement benefits and so forth, the exact same as all the homosexuals want for each other?

I mean, love is love, no matter how strange. Men fucking men is pretty goddamned strange, and so is women fingering and licking other women, so if they can get licensed to do that stuff, then I want a license to fuck my favorite sheep.

If I want a Marriage License to wed a rock, I should be able to have it, since sex with rocks has also historically been proven to never result in offspring, either.

In fact, let’s take the privilege of marriage away from normal people altogether, and reserve it only for us psychotics and sexually twisted. That way, all the normal people will bring children into the world without benefit of a family name or a pair of parents, and soon all those little bastards will be the despised minority and social pressure will force them to become mentally ill messes like us sheep fuckers.

Won’t it be a wonderful world, then?