Fox News has done it again, published another How-To guide for stupid people. This latest one is “How To Change A Tire.” At least, at the start of this article they do admit that this is a simple chore.
Upcoming scheduled articles are “Who that face is in your mirror and how to recognize it”, “How to turn your oven on and off, even if it’s electric”, and “Dealing with the different speeds of your car’s windshield wiper control”.
It should make me laugh that Fox News sees it necessary to present articles like that, aimed at the most incompetent among us, but it doesn’t. It confirms instead what I’ve been saying repeatedly, that Americans have become a bunch of really dumb fuckers and Fox News knows it.
When I was a kid, there wasn’t one other kid over the age of 12 in the entire United States that didn’t know how to change a flat tire. Hell, my brother got in trouble with our dad for taking the lug nuts off a wheel of dad’s car when he was only six! Even girls knew how to change a tire. We were a practical people. Not anymore, boy! Now we need instructions on how to hang a picture on a wall, even, according to the Fox News people, and the hell of it is, they’re right.
I should have seen it coming back when the Bevis and Butthead cartoon show became so popular on TV. The cartoons were crudely drawn and the punch lines usually revolved over one or both of them having an erection or masturbating. Very popular show.
Now we have “1000 Ways To Die”, the grossest and most disgusting TV show ever, “The Cable Guy”, a fat, stupid man always in a plaid shirt with the sleeves cut off, who entertains by being clumsy and talking like an idiot, and who is clearly meant to represent the True American, and we have News Shows where a panel of people all talk at once and you can’t understand a single goddam word anyone is saying over the babble, and this display of utter rudeness and inconsideration to each other and the viewing audience is supposed to be enlightening.
I read a science fiction story back when Jack Kennedy was president that now seems prophetic. The smart people had all done an Atlas Shrugged number and withdrawn from the general population, so the DNA pool was all dummies. This guy from the past wakes up from suspended animation into this society and, as the story goes on, is riding in a car and he hears the whooshing of wind as if they were speeding, when he can tell they’re only doing about 30. When he asks, the driver explains that the idea is to make the dumb bastards think that they’re going fast when the cars are all set for 30 mph to keep them all from killing themselves.
That’s proves to be no guarantee when he sees a pedestrian start out across the street in front of another car, and get struck and run over. The explanation his driver gives him for that is, the guy thought he could make it, and the driver of the car that hit him thought he could too, which is why he didn’t slow down.
The writer of that novel didn’t seem to think much of the average American’s brainpower. Back then I would have disagreed, but not any more.