IT’S A GENERAL INVESTIGATION

Yep, nothing to worry about folks, wer’e just having a general investigation up here on the hill, investigating all the generals. Har har har, what a knee-slapper. Of course, we waited until the election was over before talking about it, even though we were up to our tricks months before. I mean, all those distractions from our message were such a bother, ya know?

— I do get a kick out of this, a couple of our top generals have been either having affairs or trying to, and that gets them thrown out of the military, but their Commander in Chief snorts cocaine and nobody cares. Anybody besides me smell the reek of a double-standard here?

The claim, of course, is that secret sexual liasons make these top-echelon types liable to extortion, the payout being our military secrets, and there is value in that consideration. But once the truth is out, why boot them out of their jobs when the extortion possibility is nullified? These people aren’t Jesus Christ, they’re high-testosterone dudes or they never would have become generals. Of course they like sex, and of course they want more than the military gives them time to have, their wives are thousands of miles away for months at a time, so what do their civilian overseers expect, for crap’s sakes?

In the Navy, our ship’s officers were expected to remain literally celibate overseas and not comport with the local ladies for hire, which was great for us enlisted men because that kept the prices low and made for a lot more availability. No one cared who we jumped in bed with or if we caught VD. For an officer it meant being stripped of his commission and discharged, at worst, or a severe reprimand  that stayed on his record and killed his career, at best. Catholic priests get away with far more than U.S. officers do. Something’s wrong here.

Why the CIA was told to reveal all this to the public, anyway, when it’s nothing we needed to know and disgraces a truly great general, makes me wonder, too. What was gained by throwing Petraeus under the bus? Why do I feel this is tied to our Syrian embassy? If he looks bad, no one will believe him? As a civilian he can’t be made to testify about it?

Every news-spin story mentions more names and more versions and it seems like everyone connected with the Benghazi embassy attack in any way is dancing on hot coals now or dancing the Oval Room Shuffle to avoid stepping in dog poo. This really stinks.

Of course, maybe I’m just general-izing. Ah wha wha wha snarf snarf snarrr ho ho hahahahaha.

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