Camping overnight in a Big Sur public campground once, I watched as a tribe of raccoons steadily robbed a wealthy and overweight family of all their food. As these corpulent folks kept loading up their picnic table in the dim light of the campgrounds, putting out huge sausages and cheeses and so forth, raccoons steadily snatched all of it every time the people turned their backs to go back for more, and they never noticed that the table was staying empty.  I was fascinated and watched this go on for over half an hour until the campers with their very expensive Winnebago motor home finally ran out of food to give the raccoons.

Put a single raccoon in a pen with 100 chickens and the raccoon will kill every one of them, take one and leave the rest. Raccoons love to kill.

An old sci-fi story had it that Earth was dying and one of the moons of Jupiter was Terraformed, various animals and trees from Earth were taken there and raccoons were the author’s choice as the next intelligent, dominant species. I can see where he got that because of their use of hands, but it wouldn’t work. Being nocturnal, they’d never become farmers or domesticate animals. They’d wipe out everything else instead and become the only species, until they starved to death from their insatiable greed.

They are an awful lot like people, aren’t they? There’s three reasons why people get into politics. The first is patriotism but the patriots are quickly eaten. Washington is littered with the bones of patriots.

The next two reasons are power and greed, and the higher up you go, the more power over people and events you have and the more wealth you acquire.

The problem with this simple system is that greed goes out of control and government becomes like a pack of raccoons, eating everything in sight until there’s nothing left. That’s why we have “fiscal cliffs”, massive debts, a huge deficit (which is spending more money than we’re taking in, ie, government on Credit Card Steroids) growing unemployment and dramatic inflation.

People think raccoons are cute.

3 Responses to “EVOLUTION”

  1. Great analogy, Black Sheep!

    As one who grew up watching Disney productions and reading certain children’s books about animals (Thornton W. Burgess, for example), I thought of raccoons as darling critters — until the day arrived that my beloved cat Pooter was defecated on by a raccoon. Ye, gods! The stench! And the ensuing coccidiosis, a nasty affliction.

    Anyway, after discovering my defecated-upon cat and getting her somewhat bathed, I found out that a raccoon had been rampaging through the neighborhood and disemboweling cats and kittens all over the place.

    Being the pro-active type (No government agency or wildlife group would help me), I set a live trap that I borrowed from Dad’s best friend, an avid hunter and trapper. Yep, the next morning, I had a big ol’ nursing female in that trap. She was a nasty hissing and growling creature — WITH FEARSOME CLAWS — hardly a Disney raccoon, to say the least. Her babies, which she was in the process of weaning, were discovered in the cellar of my neighbor’s house, an actual Victorian and not one of those crappy imitations.

    That was in 1979.

    In 1994, I did a bit of — ahem — wildlife management here on my own property about 10 miles from D.C. In less than three weeks, I trapped 12 raccoons, 3 possums, 2 foxes (a mating pair and my actual quest as these foxes were causing all kinds of mayhem all over the neighborhood), and 1 cat. I — ahem — dispatched all but the possums, the cat, and the baby raccoons; I took the baby raccoons, all 5 of them caught in one night, our to a distant farm with lots of woods all around. The bed of the pickup truck that I transported them in stank forever!

    BTW, those dispatched raccoons did not go to waste. Mr. AOW and I took their carcasses into the ghetto of D.C., where they were eagerly snatched up for special dinners. I kid you not!

  2. Black Sheep says:

    The only good raccoon is a dead raccoon. I still cheer when I see one flattened out on a road. After all the dead chickens, I started shooting every raccoon I could find, and I killed plenty of them. Much to the improvement of the quail population, I should add.

    I had a female possum get under a trailer I rent and rip out half the insulation underneath, and she and her litter peed and crapped EVERYWHERE. I had to trap her and her entire brood before I could begin cleaning and repairs, but I did it with live traps and took them all off into the woods some miles away. Talk about STINK! Possums smell even worse than raccoons.

  3. Yeah, possums are destructive, too. Around here, most of them end up as road kill, though, so we don’t see much of them.