The tree is out by the curb. It used to be that the Christmas tree lots opened up about Dec. 12th to 15th and the trees were real fresh and stayed that way until New Years. Then after New Years it came down and the decorations were put away, and sometimes the tree was still in such good shape that it could be planted in the front yard, and grow. I know people who actually did that.
You can’t do it now. The trees are harvested and processed like a school of tuna a month or more before they even hit the stores, and they hit Rite Aid’s lot on the 1st of December. I looked at them around the 7th and they all had piles of needles under them already. On the 15th I went out to get a tree, and sure enough, the only ones to be had in our little town were the dead things at Rite Aid. So I wormed into the remaining pile until I found one that still had soft needles and got it, but by Christmas day I was getting nervous over the fire hazard that now totally dried out tree presented, in spite of the water and tree preservative. This morning it was stripped down and hit the curb. Dang!
You know Christmas is over when the news is right back to Fiscal Cliff again. I’ve been thinking that it may be my patriotic duty to be among the first to leap off this Fiscal Cliff and get it over with so we can all move on to something else, and I’ve been pondering ways to do it. The whole Cliff thing is about not having enough money to do all the spending we shouldn’t be doing, so I’m thinking that I could make my hypothetical, symbolic leap by throwing away all my pocket change and then staring longingly at a gum machine for, oh, say, half an hour. That way I would have wasted the money needed to buy the gum that I wanted but didn’t need. What could be more in the spirit of Fiscal Cliffing than that?