It’s now 17 days since Hillary Clinton disappeared on Dec. 13th. Some say she was abducted by aliens. Others claim that she is one, herself. There’s talk that she ran off with George Soros, escaped to Moscow, and is selling orphaned Russian childen to Arabs.
The truth may never be known, but this mystery is bound to live on in American folklore. The White House staff is agitating for one egg in the Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn each year to be hard-boiled, colored red and named Hillary, as a remembrance of our missing Secretary of State and some prominent Democrats want a small red star to be added to the field of stars on our national flag.
We must wait seven years before Hillary can be declared legally dead and we can start erecting statues in her honor and printing her face on our money, but right now we can add to the growing piles of candles, plastic flowers and cheap Chinese-made Teddy bears lining the fence along 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
The Huffington Post is spreading a rumor that Hillary is alive and will be back to work “next week” sometime, but the Huffpo may not be the best source of accurate information to be had, having shown considerable, ahem, “partiality” in the past. It’s very possible that one of her doubles may appear, though, like the ones Winston Churchill had, oh, and Adolf Hitler.
Just like the body of bin Laden, the true corpus of Hillary Clinton will likely never be seen again, at least on the floor of the Senate during the Libyan Benghazi hearings.
The latest utter bullcrap to be fed us is that she has a blood clot in some undisclosed location and has been hospitalized. If this were anyone NOT slated to testify about Benghazi, the EXACT medical condition and location of this bullshit blood clot would be published. Unless, of course, it’s in her vagina or up her ass. I guess they wouldn’t want to say that.
The next revelation will be that it’s in her brain and has rendered her incapable of testifying. Then after the hearings are over with, and she can’t be called in anymore, she’ll have a miraculous recovery. People in other countries must be looking at us right now and laughing their asses off.