Ison for short, as this looks like it’s going to be the comet’s nickname. ISON is actually the acronym for the group in Russia that discovered it.
Ison is slated to outshine the Moon for a short while late in 2013, and I have a plan for it. Remember comet Hale-Bopp, the one that a bunch of
total nutjobs brilliant forward-thinking geniuses, 39 altogether, committed gas pipe together so they could reincarnate aboard that comet and fly through the Universe for eternity?
Well, my plan is to make it well known that life on Ison is an unparalleled paradise, in government and Islamic circles, and that if these people commit suicide on a certain date and time (to be selected and announced), they will reappear on Ison wholly intact and in eternal bodies.
Their new bodies will never need to eat as they’ll draw delicious sustenance from the natural energies that fill our Universe, and they’ll find themselves far more intelligent than they ever were before, and that’s really saying something, boy. Better looking, too, and the sex, omigod, the sex will be unbelievable.
Now, I’m going to need people to start Spreading The Gospel Of Ison on all the social networking sites, YouTube and all that, and sending me donations for the ads in the various media. Feel free to set up PayPal links to my email address on your blogs and websites while you’re promoting Comet Ison to all those we would love
to get rid of to see in a Better Place.
If we all give this a good effort, we can achieve Peace on Earth again, for a little while anyway.