Herman Munster, head of the Vatican Cardinals team, is quitting his day job. By doing so, he’s the first Poope in 600 years to resign the position, not to be confused with that other position involving knees. St. Malachy, who lived way back around the year 1100, predicted this Poope to be the second to last Poope, with Peter the Roman being the last one.
Over the past centuries there’s risen some dispute over whether Munster, aka Benedict (of course he has aliases, that’s where the Mafia comes from, you know?) is the last Poope or second to last Poope, but either way, them Poopes don’t last long anyhow, since they get the job at such late ages.
The last Poope means that the world is awash in wars and tribulations and just godawful things like fire in the sky and plagues and monster scorpion things and all like that, and you can read all about it in any evangelist apocolyptic rant, so you don’t need me to go on about all that horrible nasty stuff here, now do you? But if you’d like me to, send $5 to the address at the end of this here informative article. Bless you.
So now we just have to wait and see if war breaks out before Herman resigns by Feb. 15th and Rome is bombed into oblivion along with the Vatican Cardinals, aka The Redhats Gospel team, or if another decrepit old pederast gets stuffed into the job. That seems the most likely, and if so, then we’ll just have to be patient and wait for the bombs to start dropping, and all like that, during his tenure. So Bless You All, I say, and right now I’m shaking Holy Water out of a Consecrated Bottle, in all directions, to do that very thing, blessing you, may your experience of Armageddon be quick and as painless as possible under the circumstances. And don’t forget that five bucks.