FNARR, GODDAMMIT, FNARR, FNARR!!!

I got that from Xoggoth’s blog. He frequently uses that in an expressive manner and I do kinda like it. FNARR!! Kind of a snarl with a Kiss-My-Ass attitude.

So why the Fnarr? I will tell you ( and thanks for asking. ) Yesterday morning I got up, turned on the old computer and LO, no satellite internet service! So I called the company and talked to someone somewhere who told me that they know there’s an outage in my area, they’re working on it, and my service should be restored within an hour.

Fully two days later and 6 calls later, and I’ve been told twice that diagnostics showed there was nothing wrong with my equipment here, but if I’d like to pay them $95 they would send a repair truck out. I couldn’t get any clear explanation why I should pay anything if my equipment is okay but if I’d like to sign up permanently instead to pay them an extra $6 a month, that would ensure that I never have to pay the $95 a month. I tried to explain to this scammer that warranties are what you buy when you own the product, not when you rent it, and that I already pay them rent on this gear.

When he persisted in talking over me, I hung up on him and did two things. First I called the cable company that was not doing business here when I moved here, ah but they are now, and found out that they can hook me up to their cable in a few days for $25 a month instead of the $60 I pay now, that I would get 300 Gigabytes per month instead of the 10 I get now, and a download speed of 50 mb instead of the 1 or so I get now. It broke my heart leave the shitty, sporadic satellite service I have but I agreed to anyway, and no doubt I’ll soon stop crying like a baby and gnashing my teeth over this heartrending decision.

The OTHER thing I did was to unplug their modem and beat it violently against the carpeted floor 4 times and plug it back in. It is now working again.

Then the other Other thing I did was to check online and yes, their automatic monthly charge to my credit card was made today. they’re paid up and current, so I called the Credit Card company and had them re-issue the card with a new number, so the satellite company can’t make any more charges to my card. FNARR, you bitches, FNARR.

2 Responses to “FNARR, GODDAMMIT, FNARR, FNARR!!!”

  1. x says:

    Satellite internet! You are out in the sticks! Don’t be nasty to your little modem. A cuddle and glass of vodka works much better.

    Fnarr, fnarr comes from Finbar saunders:

    http://viz.co.uk/got-great-big-woodie-showed-lovely-bristols/

  2. x says:

    PS Do you still have Mad Magazine in the US. I really miss it.