Archive for the ‘Ridiculous’ Category

NOW, MAYBE?

Thursday, May 4th, 2017

Discovered last night that the login thing was messed up again, called the service provider this morning, got hold of someone from Bangladesh or that region who didn’t understand me, nor I him, hung up, called again and got “Travis”, who sounded American, and he fixed it in about 2 minutes. Finally.

Meanwhile, with all the plugins having been deleted by the previous techie, the site’s been buried in SPAM comments because the SPAM blocker was one of those plugins. A new one is installed so if you have any trouble leaving a comment, that’s why, it’s blocking you, so please send me an email telling me so, the form is at the bottom right.

It will take a day or two before I’m sure that clearing the server cache has fixed the problem but my hopes are ever high and my spirit undaunted, and so forth.

LIPS AND NOSES

Monday, April 24th, 2017

It’s not hard to understand why we humans have our standards of beauty. Most of us have lips and noses that look more or less like this…
And this…..

Instead of this….





And the Worst Part of these last 5 pictures is,
YOU CAN’T UNSEE THEM. 😀

THE BLAME GAME

Tuesday, June 14th, 2016

Posted under “Ridiculous”, because it is:

From Brexit, ” A Florida Catholic bishop blames Orlando Massacre on “Catholic contempt” for homosexuality”.

“Planned Parenthood Black Community is blaming “toxic masculinity” for the horrific shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida.”

“White House blamed Republicans in Congress for “underfunding” efforts to combat violent extremism, for the Orlando terrorist attack.”

And for sheer preciousness, Glenn Beck has announced to all homosexuals that “I will comfort you in the storm.” Really? He will? With magic fairy dust? This crazy freak is trying to make himself a hero to homosexuals by doing absolutely nothing more than verbally sympathizing. Never let a good crisis go to waste, hey Glenn? Beck’s making a plea here for all homosexuals to come to his side, and he hopes they remember to bring their wallets.

Lots of people are jumping aboard the Orlando Massacre Train, you bet, with 49 dead homosexuals there’s opportunities there and money to be made. Meanwhile, the stock values of gun manufacturers in this country suddenly shot up about 7% on average. God, how the sudden rush of new gun ownership must be pissing off the Liberals.

A couple more really ugly Islamic attacks like this last one and Trump will be elected in a landslide. My fingers aren’t pointing, they’re crossed.

REALLY?

Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

Hillary Clinton has just launched a new website called Republicans Against Trump, at https://www.republicansagainsttrump.org/. When you go to it you see a request to “Take the pledge to get your free Republicans Against Trump sticker.”

The pledge: “Donald Trump is not qualified to be president. He does not represent my beliefs as a Republican and, more importantly, my values as an American. He does not speak for me and I will not vote for him.”

Then follows a form to fill in where you give your name, address, email and so forth. I took the pledge, you bet, and gave my true name and address as Mickey Mouse at 0 Dems Alley, Chicago. When I hit the Add My Name button a window came up saying “Thank you, your sticker will be mailed to you soon.”

I want every person who is for Donald Trump to go to this website, give the name of their favorite fantasy person, cartoon character or dead person, make up an address, and hit the big red button at the bottom. I want millions of people to do this. I want this website flooded with sticker requests to nowhere, so many that they go broke trying to print and mail them all.

Now get this: Hillary very appropriately named this website because the acronym is

Republicans
Against
Trump.

RATS

She’s right, if you sign up as a Republican, you’re a rat.
What could be funnier?

Any hackers out there? Have a hacker friend? Want to have some fun?

HOW CAN I PASS THIS UP?

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

I just got this SCAM email from Nigeria. Can you tell that the writer needs remedial English? I could sure use all that non-existent money, but I just can’t locate my non-existent greed and cupidity that I need to go for this offer that reeks of rotting fish guts. What a loss. Oh well, there’s always another one. One thing I do have is patience.

Hello

I hope you’re fine and well ? This email would get to you as a surprise since we have never met before. I apologize for contacting you through this medium which has already been polluted with unsolicited offers making it extremely difficult for genuine messages to be recognized. I got your impressive contact details through a missionary’s file online and after much prayers, I decided to contact you directly for my humanitarian support assignment and I hope you would be of help.

My name is Elizabeth Burton, I am a retired orthopaedic nurse. I was diagnosed of lungs cancer a couple of years ago in a private hospital in Germany shortly after the death of my husband: Engr. Allen J. Burton. He was a former oil contractor with Shell Oil Producing Company in Saudi Arabia. We were married for over 35years with only one child ( A sickle Cell Anaemia patient ) whom we lost to health related crisis long time ago.

My deceased husband and I had prepared a blueprint for establishing a foundation that would be directed towards helping Sickle Cell patients and the needy in our society. This plan was still at the incubation stage before the sickness that claimed my husband’s life and now left me in this debilitating state. My doctors had told me that my chances of survival is absolutely uncertain due to end stage of my ailment.

My late husband had nominated me by WILL as a successor in title to his estate and I have been touched by God to donate substantial part of my inherited fund for charity projects rather than allow my greedy relatives use it for their selfish interest after my death.

I had decided to advance the sum of US$2,500,000 ( Two Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars ) for humanitarian support projects through you for redistribution to the less privileged ones. My giving intention has been a natural attitude in adherence to scriptural guidance and I would want it to continue and be remembered for it posthumously.

Due to my ill health, I would not be able to answer telephone calls and I would not want my relatives know about this donation, otherwise they would go against it having mismanaged previous financial advancement I made through them.

I had made an amendment to my WILL ( A CODICIL ) which is presently in care of the Probate Registry Unit and a copy of this vital document has been filed with my bank’s legal department for execution on my behalf. Once you respond positively, I would link you up with my fund manager at my bank for the transfer of donated fund into your designated bank account.

I wish you all the best and may the good Lord be with you always. Please make use of my donated fund for the purpose specified and always extend the good work to others.

Thanks and God bless you.

Regards,

Mrs Elizabeth Burton.

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ASSHOLE ON A ROLL?

Monday, May 23rd, 2016

A rolling asshole, maybe?
President Barack Obama signed a bill into law Friday banning the federal government from using the terms “Negro” and “Oriental,” making the official terms African-American and Asian-American. So I guess that makes all the Negroes born in Africa and everywhere else, African-Americans now, and all the various Asian peoples are now all Asian-Americans.

Well, nothing left to do now except grant them all American citizenship. Bathrooms, transgenders, banning perfectly valid words, he’s an asshole on a roll. What the fuck, as long as he doesn’t start a nuclear war I guess I should be grateful.

TRANS-HUMANS DEMAND SEPARATE BATHROOMS

Monday, May 23rd, 2016

The Trans-human activists are demanding that government buildings, businesses and schools provide separate bathroom facilities for them to ensure their Constitutional right of privacy. It’s unknown at this time how many trans-humans there are, or how widely spread they are across our nation, since there’s so few of them. The same is true of trans-gender people, with the current rough estimate at about 1 out of every 3500 people or so. This may be too high a number but it’s been proven that the size of a minority doesn’t matter in America, only how radical and perverted it is. That’s what gets the attention, the action and the results.

Trans-humans are those who are morphing their faces and bodies into an animal shape. Feline forms are the most common, followed by snakes, robots and demons, and it’s estimated (by me, I mean, who better?) that there’s 1 trans-human in every 500,000 people. Roughly. More or less. The robot people haven’t been able to make any body modifications yet but are hopeful that our rapidly advancing technology will soon allow them to start mechanizing themselves. They also plan on petitioning the UN for a separate nation of their own and already have their national anthem picked out. It’s the theme music from Six Million Dollar Man.

I’ve been thinking of joining the trans-human robot wanna-be’s. My brain is still working pretty good but the old carcass could stand replacing. Gravity is such a drag, you know. So hopefully they’ll get the mechanizing thing figured out pretty quick, and in the meantime I guess I’ll keep on using the Men’s Room.

A PERFECT MATCH

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

LOL, I see that Raphael Cruz has announced that Carly Fiorina is his Vice Presidential running mate. They make a great pair. Cruz is a sneaky, lying bastard who gives everyone the creeps and Fiorina comes off as abrasive and nutty. She has a harsh, negative way of saying things, a harsh-sounding voice, and all the time she’s talking her head is jerking back and forth, up and down, and her eyes are jumping every which way. Yeah, now THAT really inspires calm confidence in us, huh? She makes people nervous just watching her jitter and twitch.

Well done, Ralph. Great choice. Go Ralph. LOLOL.

FNARR, GODDAMMIT, FNARR, FNARR!!!

Sunday, April 24th, 2016

I got that from Xoggoth’s blog. He frequently uses that in an expressive manner and I do kinda like it. FNARR!! Kind of a snarl with a Kiss-My-Ass attitude.

So why the Fnarr? I will tell you ( and thanks for asking. ) Yesterday morning I got up, turned on the old computer and LO, no satellite internet service! So I called the company and talked to someone somewhere who told me that they know there’s an outage in my area, they’re working on it, and my service should be restored within an hour.

Fully two days later and 6 calls later, and I’ve been told twice that diagnostics showed there was nothing wrong with my equipment here, but if I’d like to pay them $95 they would send a repair truck out. I couldn’t get any clear explanation why I should pay anything if my equipment is okay but if I’d like to sign up permanently instead to pay them an extra $6 a month, that would ensure that I never have to pay the $95 a month. I tried to explain to this scammer that warranties are what you buy when you own the product, not when you rent it, and that I already pay them rent on this gear.

When he persisted in talking over me, I hung up on him and did two things. First I called the cable company that was not doing business here when I moved here, ah but they are now, and found out that they can hook me up to their cable in a few days for $25 a month instead of the $60 I pay now, that I would get 300 Gigabytes per month instead of the 10 I get now, and a download speed of 50 mb instead of the 1 or so I get now. It broke my heart leave the shitty, sporadic satellite service I have but I agreed to anyway, and no doubt I’ll soon stop crying like a baby and gnashing my teeth over this heartrending decision.

The OTHER thing I did was to unplug their modem and beat it violently against the carpeted floor 4 times and plug it back in. It is now working again.

Then the other Other thing I did was to check online and yes, their automatic monthly charge to my credit card was made today. they’re paid up and current, so I called the Credit Card company and had them re-issue the card with a new number, so the satellite company can’t make any more charges to my card. FNARR, you bitches, FNARR.

BLACK LIVES WHAT?

Thursday, April 7th, 2016

Black screaming racists with banner.

These are some of the racist rabble roused up and ready to riot. Brought to you by the letter R.

The Black Lives racists are the black equivalent of the white KKK of the past, only more so by far. The leaders of this band of worthless scum are the same people selling crack to black children who then go out and kill other black children, as Bill Clinton recently pointed out. All these low-IQ, smelly, unwashed pukes are succeeding in doing is making themselves hated by a hell of a lot of people, a lot more people than they have on their side. Their biggest mistake isn’t screaming profanities at political rallies to stifle the freedom of speech of others, even though pissing off politicians is poor planning. No, their biggest mistake is attacking and killing police officers.

The blacks screamed like hell over being profiled by police, for being frequently stopped and questioned often just because they were black and in a bad neighborhood, or so they complained. But now? Now the police are really alert and awake and watchful, and there’s sure to be more dead blacks than ever, shot in self-defense.

What these Black Lives predators want is for all blacks in prisons and jails to be freed regardless of their crimes. They want white people to cower in fear of them, to submit to them the same way Muslims submit to subjugation. No wonder so many blacks have adopted Islam. Evil is attracted to evil.

The more they push their Black Lives agenda, the less that black lives will matter to the rest of us. Blacks aren’t the only ones with guns, the rest of us are pretty well armed too, and we’ll back up our police any time it becomes necessary. What the Black Lives people are really doing is endangering themselves and all other blacks. I think they want a race war, personally, and I think Barack Obama has a lot to do with the increasing racial tension happening now.

People get so caught up in their emotions over events that they often don’t look past them to the causes. Obama has openly abetted this Black Lives mess, and he must have a purpose in doing so.

ANY TRANNY YOU WANT TO BE

Monday, April 4th, 2016

It just occurred to me that if I had a couple more pairs of arms cloned up and grafted on, so that I had as many appendages as a bug, I would be a transectile.

SO THIS IS EVOLUTION, HUH?

Sunday, March 27th, 2016

Human beings are the highest stage of animal evolution at this time, and are the result of 3.5 billion years of evolution. That’s three and a half thousand million years and this is the result after 3,500,000,000 years? Us? We make wars against each other and slaughter each other for the most childish of reasons, like religions, which are nothing but superstition entirely. We choose leaders blindly, based on looks or promises instead of accomplishments, who have the power to enslave and kill us. We generate enormous mountains of poisonous trash and garbage and pollute the entire planet with it, we overpopulate and drive everything else extinct, we take advantage of each other, and generally, we act like parasites infesting Earth.

I was just looking at photos of the carnage after some retarded Islamic shithead blew himself up in a crowd of Christians, because they have a different religion than he did, and at least 50 people are dead and a whole bunch more are severely injured, and all this shithead’s friends are dancing and cheering, and his relatives are honoring him for throwing away his life in the commission of this insane, despicable, monstrous act.

That’s why I posted this. I frankly hate most people, humans truly do suck, there are only a few good ones out of the teeming masses of millions and all the rest are just too fucking stupid and thoughtless to deserve being alive. My opinion of the Human Race puts them at the very bottom of all species except raccoons. Raccoons and humans are virtually identical, they steal anything they can get and kill for the sheer joy of the slaughter, I’ve lived in the woods long enough to have seen plenty of what raccoons do and if they were smarter they’d be just like us. I find it impossible to be proud to be a human being.

YES, SAN FRANCISCO IS REALLY QUEER

Saturday, March 26th, 2016

The state of North Carolina recently passed legislation blocking counties and cities from making laws that protect homosexual and transgender people from discrimination. The purpose is to protect the religious liberty of businesses, like bakeries that refuse to bake LGBT wedding cakes on religious grounds. They did this in an emergency session of the state congress after the city of Charlotte passed a measure protecting gay (meaning Homosexual), lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from being discriminated against by businesses.

“This is a kind of backdoor religious freedom restoration act — allowing businesses the right to refuse to serve customers based on the owner’s religious beliefs.”

Well, the Sexual Deviant crowd is mightily upset about this, and especially in San Francisco.
“San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee said in a statement Friday he doesn’t want any city workers to travel to North Carolina unless necessary in wake of its legislation which blocks anti-discrimination for gay, lesbian and transgender people.”

The ornamental… Oh hell, excuse me. I meant Oriental mayor of Than Franthithco (you have to say it with a lisp for full effect) thinks that he has the authority to ban city employees from traveling to North Carolina. Umm, NO, he can’t tell anyone not to go anywhere, sorry, very Unconstitutional and any effort to enforce that little brain fart would be Unlawful Imprisonment and could land his fairy ass in prison.

I’m sure what he really thinks he’s doing is putting an economic sanction on the state of North Carolina. Like, By God, this will hurt them when all those millions of San Franciscans stop spending billions of dollars there. Yeah, uh huh, sure. You know, this is just more proof that sexual perversion is a mental illness.

RACISM IS GROOVY

Friday, March 25th, 2016

Racism is the bestest, most popular and wonderful of all the isms. Everyone loves racism, I can tell, because all the politicians call each other racists and they all claim not to be racist and everyone says that racism is the very worst kind of ism to be, which is how I know everyone really actually loves it, because we all love the worst things and do the worst things and we all pretend that we don’t.

The black people who hate white people the most are always the first ones to call white people racist, and the brown people who hate Americans for being Americans call all Americans racist no matter what color they are. Now, is that love of racism, or what?

If we didn’t have racism, we would denounce others for being too tall or too short, or fat, or skinny, or for the way they dress or the way they talk. We used to do that a lot, in fact, before racism became so popular and stylish. So be racist and proud of it, and show it by calling everyone else racist. Don’t be left out.

HYPOCRISY, YOU GOTTA LOVE IT

Saturday, March 12th, 2016

Of course, Communist Bernie Sanders and Murderess Hillary Clinton both blame Donald Trump for the Free Speech violations of his Chicago rally last night by Moveon.Org and Black Lives Matter thugs sponsored by the Sea Island Cabal.

The part that really shows how far down the Republican Party has sunk is the identical claims of blame from Cruz, Rubio and Kasich. This was a golden opportunity for the three of them, or any one of them, to speak up for the rule of law and the right of all of us to speak our minds without being attacked for it. But instead of standing up for Free Speech, instead of denouncing the aggressive, disrupting and violent behavior of all those organize protesters, they took the side of the Liberal, Socialist Democrats!

If anyone had any doubts before about where those lesser candidates stand, they should all be dispelled now.

A WAND DERING THOUGHT

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Watched a few episodes of the Harry Potter series last night on TV and got to wondering where the idea of magic wands came from, and I have a theory that while unprovable, is just as good as anyone’s and better than most, because I say so.

The first spears were long pointed sticks, and when skillfully and strongly thrown, will travel a good long distance with accuracy and will pierce clear through a man and most animals. No sharpened stone is needed, just speed and a good sharp point. So pointed sticks would have become highly important in the life of Early Man. They were much superior to a thrown rock.

Then there’s fire. A stick with one end on fire would light the night, let a person find their way around in the dark and help to dispel dangerous animals and scary things, evil spirits and the like. So it’s not hard to see how a belief in spirits led to a belief in magic, and the usefulness of a stick in both attack and defense.

Then there’s staffs. Walking sticks, or staffs, were apparently prevalent accessories in ancient times. Probably most men carried them. There’s the story of Moses throwing down his staff before the Egyptian pharaoh, which then turned into a snake, and that crossed staffs were symbols commonly associated with the Egyptian pharaohs. Staffs would be symbols of power, kings always had scepters, which are just fancied up staffs, but could also be thought of as wands.

I can imagine ancient staffs all carved up with symbols and decorated with animal parts, bits of leather and feather, to imbue them in the owners mind with spiritual powers.

The idea of magic wands has been with us probably millennia longer than we will ever really know, and it’s no coincidence that we developed rifles that look like big wands or spears instead of some different form of attack weapon. We always wanted wands that would smite enemies and bring down game from a distance, and when spells from magic wands don’t do the job, and even an arrow can’t go far enough, a bullet certainly does the trick.

I think rifles aren’t the limit to our search for a better magic wand. Lasers are looking more promising all the time. What a magic wand that would be, that shoots out a magical beam that can smite our intended victim from great distances. Magical indeed.

POLITICS, POLITICS

Thursday, February 25th, 2016

Everything is politics and the higher the office, the more power, prestige and money in it, the stronger and louder the competition for it gets. The candidates dress up like peacocks and make promises that even God couldn’t keep, they insult each other and when they can’t find something bad to attack the other one with, they make up lies and accuse each other of past sins and present derelictions.

Generally you only have one person running for the office of dogcatcher, but there’ll be two running for Justice of the Peace, three for Sheriff, and four for Mayor, and by voting time for Governor comes along, there’s a half-dozen who’ve fought their way onto the ballot and are running around all over the place kissing babies and shaking hands.

Running for high office is expensive, what with all the lawn signs to be made, all the lamp post posters to be printed, the television and radio ads, the hordes of volunteers calling every number in the phone book to annoy people with their messages about why their candidate is the best choice. The money comes from rich donors who expect special favors if their candidate wins, which is why most rich donors donate pretty much equally to all the candidates, and cover their bets that way. Then whoever wins doesn’t matter, they’re still owed favors.

This is a fact of life so entrenched now in politics that regardless of who wins what office, they all work for the same people anyway. This makes votes pretty worthless. Our politicians have become so corrupt and careless now that most people have finally figured out what’s going on, and have finally become angry enough to do something about it. And at this point, who enters the Presidential race but Donald Trump, a man who has so much money he can’t be bought, who is so good at manipulating a media that’s openly against him that he hasn’t spent even ten percent of what any other candidate has spent to promote his candidacy, yet is leading in all the polls.

He looks like America’s Shining Knight on a white horse, he promises to make right all the wrongs committed by our present and past Presidents and Congressmen, put Americans back to work, rebuild our military, reinvigorate our economy and seal our borders at last.

I’ve still got my fingers crossed and they may stay that way until he actually starts doing some of those things, but even if this is all smoke and mirrors, the man is saying what we’ve all been wanting to hear, you have to give him that. That alone deserves our votes, the offering of such hope has value in itself, so if in the end it should all be lies, I won’t feel cheated. After all, no one else is offering anything believable at all except Dr. Carson, and his chances are nil.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO THIS.

Saturday, February 6th, 2016

Why no one has yet done this eludes me. Surely I’m not the first American to think of getting a bunch of pigs, feeding them a big mess of really greasy food right before breaking into a mosque and putting the pigs inside. By the time morning comes and they’re discovered, they’ll have crapped everywhere and that will be the end of ever using that building as a mosque again.

The only reason there hasn’t been a national uprising of riots and mosque burnings is that the Muslims haven’t pulled the sort of crap here that they did in England. There, they planted bombs on the subway cars and held large, really hate-filled and threatening demonstrations with lots of signs proclaiming their hatred of their host country, of democracy and of freedom. The British caved in to fear and let them have Sharia law courts and take over huge city neighborhoods. Cowardly. The spirit of Neville Chamberlain still hovers over Parliament. As it is, here in the US vandalizing and attacks against mosques along with assaults on Muslims has increased since the terrorist attacks in France and California.

Growing up in California, none of us ever heard of Muslims. There weren’t any Muslims, they were some strange people who lived in desert places like Saudi Arabia and rode around on camels. That was the extent of our knowledge. Now the goddam Muslims are all over the place, all over the news, we’re constantly reading and hearing about Muslims, and everything we read and hear is bad. We are totally sick and tired of the goddam fucking Muslims! So when Donald Trump says right out what we all want to hear, that he wants to block more Muslims from entering our country, you bet we like it. Between that and his promise to fence out the Mexicans and get rid of the illegals here now, OH HELL YES, we like it.

European women are heartily sick of Muslims and their wretched Islam. They’ve created a vast multi-national protest movement called FEMEN, In the picture below you see two topless FEMEN activists who disrupted a Muslim conference taking place in Pontoise northwest of Paris. Jumping up onto the stage and forcing two imams to leave, they briefly shouted slogans until security dragged them off. If you watch the video you can see one of those piece of shit Muslimes kicking one of the women after she was knocked to the floor.

You don’t have to be of any political party to know that Muslims want to force us all to become like them or know that some Mexicans have taken your job away and are trashing hell out of your neighborhood, that they threaten you in the stores and that Mexican gangs are selling drugs to your kids. All Trump has to do is stick with his story and not back down, and he’s in.

SPLITTING HAIRS

Monday, January 25th, 2016

Some anti-abortionists managed to make secret videos of interviews they’d set up with people from Planned Parenthood, misrepresenting themselves as buyers of fetal tissue for research organizations. Captured on video were discussions of abortion procedures and the methods of harvesting tissue from aborted fetuses. Then these videos were made public, and the Religious Right immediately started screaming for all government support for Planned Parenthood be withdrawn. A Grand Jury has just indicted some of those anti-abortionists on several felony counts while finding no foul at all with anything Planned Parenthood did, and the Religious Rightists are screaming about it.

The Religious Right claim to be Republicans, and it’s part of the Republican Party doctrine to be against women’s right to choose to abort or not. In other words, they’re anti-abortion, claiming that the moment conception takes place from an act of copulation, that tiny fertilized cell is an actual baby, and that supposed baby has full rights of citizenship, and therefor aborting it is murder.

Related to this is that in some states, laws have been passed that anyone killing a pregnant woman’s baby during an act of criminal assault has committed murder. If the woman planned on carrying the child to term, I can see the logic in that, personally, though murder is a stretch. Manslaughter is more like it, for how does anyone know that the child wouldn’t have been stillborn? But the real point of this law is that the choice was taken away from the woman who was carrying the unborn child by it’s killer, whether deliberately or accidentally.

If we’re going to have laws dictating what is or is not a human life before it’s born, then we need to keep our various religious opinions to ourselves while crafting them. Human life is not sacred and as soon as we present it as being so, we’ve lost sight of reality. It’s a natural instinct to protect children, but children come from women, and a woman with a dead infant can have more infants. First protection under the law should go to women. Then to children. It’s logical and common sense. People who live under religious laws, live under despotic dictatorships ala Islam style, and that’s not what America is about.

FLUKE SKYWATER

Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Fluke: Unplanned, accidental. Skywater: Rain.
It’s raining like a dual-vagina’d cow urinating on Michelle Obama’s face, and I didn’t plan for it. Fluke skywater, get it? Huh? Snark Wars? The Farce awakens? Well, at least I did, awaken that is, I was taking a nap and awoke to the roar of a veritable farking downpour. It’s still downpouring. Help! The house is floating, help, help.

POLITICAL TACK-ON
Sarah Palin has just endorsed Donald Trump over Ed Cruz. This matters, every single person she’s endorsed, 33 candidates for office so far, have won. On top of that, the Governor of Iowa has also endorsed Trump, pretty much ensuring he’ll take the Iowa caucus. Our boy is on his way to the White House now.