Time to rename the state of Florida to Floridazon or some other jungle-ish, Amazon-sounding name. First there’s the snakes, the boa constrictors and pythons that are running loose everywhere that pet owners have released into the wild and that have mated and multiplied, and now lots of Rhesus monkeys are spreading out after escaping from a tourist compound, and are starting to threaten people.

Now they need to import lions to eat the monkeys, and then have big game safaris to shoot the lions because the lions will thrive and multiply by eating monkeys. Maybe tigers would be better, tigers are endangered and lions aren’t, and tigers eat monkeys too. I wonder how well elephants would do in the Florida swamps? They could hold tiger hunts from the backs of elephants like the rajahs of India used to do, once the tiger population grew large enough, and the money from selling hunts could be used to pay the survivors of tiger attacks – if there are any.

What Florida really needs to complete this picture is a nice variety of colorful parrots. They have a few types now, but more would be good. If you’re going to totally destroy the natural ecology of an entire state and probably 6 or 7 states before these critters stop spreading out, you might as well go all the way.


  1. x says:

    With all the universal travel it won’t be long before we get all sorts of things from the rest of the world including some pretty deadly ones.

    My nice little horse chestnut tree is now being eaten by leaf mining beetle. The damn thing has only been in the UK since 2002, originally came from Macedonia.

    A few lions would be good if they’d eat that bastard next door.

  2. x says:

    PS And you yanks can have your Grey Squirrels and Signal Crayfish back!!!!
    PPS Grey not gray!