SELF-ABUSE

I’m finally pretty much past the heebie jeebies and general trauma of deciding to open a retail shop in town, from scratch. At 78 it does seem rather stupid of me, and even after a year of cogitating on the idea, I’m still not real sure about it.

BUT, full speed ahead, Captain, the building is rented, the showcases are inside waiting to be unpacked as soon as I finish painting and repairing — or is that the other way around? The boxes of inventory goods are arriving daily and being daily carted over to the store-to-be and packed in the back room.

So what kind of shop is it, you ask? I know you asked, I heard you ask. I hear lots of things now, it must be the stress of starting a new business in a poor community in CALIFORNIA, of all places, Land Of Incessant And Ever More Burdensome Taxation. Which fact has definitely been part of my stress load.

Hobbies and Crafts with the emphasis on Crafts. Crafting craftily I crept quietly closer. Say that 10 times really fast. Polymer clay crafting, macrame (yes, it’s coming back) model boat and airplane building, beading, leather working, painting, with lots of different kinds and colors of paint that cost a bloody fortune, canvases, easels, drawing stuff, soap making, basket making, candle making… all sorts of crafts, lots of different crafting kits…

Anyway, I’ve gotten most of the ordering done and haven’t really spent as much as I thought I’d have to, but there’s always tomorrow and …. the unknown… but no stress, no, I’m fine, no really…

Anyway, today is COFFEE DAY. Today is the day I knew was coming when I’d run out of coffee and have to roast more. I buy it in bulk, green, and roast the beans in my oven about every 6 months. A lot of beans. They crackle and snap and pour out clouds of smoke, because they have to be roasted at 500 degrees F. and that’s pretty damned hot. Gotta watch em like a hawk because they can go from a nice brown to that foul tasting French Roast condition pretty quickly. But all was good and 3 more fat bags of roasted beans now reside in my freezer. You have to freeze them once they’re roasted or the oils in them go rancid. But frozen, they keep fine and taste fresh for a very long time.

So there you have it. Well, almost. The reason I’m opening a store, and a craft store specifically, is because I still plan on living forever and my income will all run out in less than 4 years now, and it seems like a good idea to have something to make a living with that’s easy. Crafts and hobbies, because there isn’t one in our entire, spread out area of about 10,000 – 12,000 people.

So burn a candle, spin a prayer wheel, set little pieces of paper on fire or whatever silly superstitious thing you do, dear Reader, on my behalf. What the hell, I’ll take anything. Send me money, tho, really, that would be good.

3 Responses to “SELF-ABUSE”

  1. x says:

    I have to ask. So what kind of shop is it?

  2. x says:

    Seriously, sounds great you have so much drive at 78! Wish I had any at the mo. Hope to get it back, starting a village serial killers club with another local soon.

  3. Black Sheep says:

    I would love to join your club. If I lived near you and were an active, participating member, I’d have no reason to become a shop keeper. Killing people would be so much more fun, considering all the sons of bitches I’d dearly love to kill. The problem is I have no backup as a group like you do, no safe houses, disposable weapons, false passports and all those necessary tools to really be efficient and successful. The only asset I could bring to the trade here is that I’m an excellent rifle shot.