BULLIES IN TRAINING

My new shop is proving to be a whole new exercise in patience, something I have loads of as long as humans aren’t involved. Ah, but they are, young ones, teenagers.

There’s a group of 5 of them who zip back and forth along the cement walkway in front of the string of shops that I’ve rented into, who go very fast, yelling and screaming every time they pass my open shop door. The other day I went out tried talking to them nicely to see if they might find it in their black little hearts to knock that crap off, and they spent the last half hour of that day focusing all their efforts directly in front of my shop.

I ignored them and waited to see if they’d come back the next day, which was yesterday, and they didn’t. But this morning, a Saturday with no school to render them somewhat harmless, there they were again. Only 3 of the 5 this time, so I went out and told them to leave or I’d call the sheriff. I heard one of them say “Fuck you” to me as he was leaving, but they did leave. About 10 minutes after my regular closing time today, here comes the fat one, the little pig on a scooter, going back and forth in front of my door.

I already had him pegged as the leader of these kids, and was pleased to see that none of them were with him. I knew he was doing this to see if I’d really call the sheriff, but what he didn’t realize was that I was overdue to close up the shop after finishing up with my last customer. So while he was outside being a jackass, I was busy cleaning out the register, picking up my thermos and jacket, and shutting off the lights.

Just as he was making another approach on his scooter, there I was outside the door, locking it. I didn’t even bother to look at him, I just got in my car and drove away and left him standing there like the little idiot he is. How mean of me to take all his fun away like that, huh?

That fat bastard is in bully training, looking for victims, and thinks that old people are good targets. He reminds me exactly of my neighbor Brian, the guy who kept threatening to kill me every time he got drunk enough. I never met a bully who wasn’t a coward and I never will.

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