Archive for December, 2017

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Friday, December 29th, 2017

It’s a custom in Western societies, some of them anyway, like ours, to resolve to do better or to change some aspect of our behavior and/or our lives, on the first day of the New Year. Generally, we declare these resolutions in advance of New Year’s Day and hold off on actually implementing them until The Day arrives.

So in the spirit of all this, these are my New Year’s Resolutions:
1:
2:
3:

And in order to keep these resolutions I will do my very best not to change one single goddam thing about myself. It’s taken me an entire lifetime to become the cranky, foul-mouthed bastard that I am, and I like what I’ve achieved a lot. A lot of others don’t, but that’s their problem. If they don’t like the way I am, then stay the hell away from me and be happy.

I don’t allow myself to be anyone’s victim, and it’s a good thing too, because the older I get, the more a lot of people see me as victim fodder, and the more surprised they are when that doesn’t work out very well for them. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the concept of age and seeing old age as weakness. It is weakness to a certain point, of course it is, but a wrinkled face doesn’t necessarily mean a frightened mind. I like that line in Dune, where Paul Atreides says “Fear is the mind-killer”. It is. I do feel fear like all of us, but I learned long ago to ignore it and look away from it in my mind, to push it away immediately and keep my focus clear. Fear inhibits action.

What I still have not yet learned to control so readily is anger. I can lose myself not just to anger but to real rage fairly easily, when I might be better off not doing so. It always seems to work out well for me afterward, but at the time I’m raging away, I’m also always holding the reins on it and never letting it go too far… which may be why it tends to end well for me. Sometimes you just have to show some people in the rawest way possible that they’ve really pissed you off, to get them to back off. Fortunately this is a very rare event. 99.9% of the time I get along great with everybody, and I have to admit, life is more fun that way.

So yeah, New Year’s resolutions are for those who are still working on being the person they want to be. Nothing wrong with that, in fact it’s a good idea. Most of us could use some improvements in ourselves.

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR, all you thousands of loyal readers. Resolve to be happy for the whole year.

ON THIS FRABJOUS DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS…

Tuesday, December 26th, 2017

This morning I went to our local post office to drop off a couple packages and to discuss the fact of 8 pieces of missing mail/merchandise that I’d paid for that never arrived. One of them I actually hadn’t paid for, it was a new credit card that never showed up, that I’d put charges on, online, and couldn’t pay those charges without knowing the card number and sec. number in order to log on. So late fees accumulated.

On that issue, I contacted the card company and explained that it never showed, they checked and fortunately it had never been activated and used by whoever got it. So they canceled the card and the late fees and have sent another card, yet to arrive.

For the other 7 items, 5 were from China and are lost forever, 1 is being replaced by the seller and the last one had tracking and shows as having been delivered… to someone.

Ennyhoo… I spoke with the postmaster about this, who immediately became irate with me, expounding repeatedly and loudly that They Have Never Had A Single Complaint Before In All The Years Blah Blah Blah, as if I were somehow a culprit instead of the victim. Fucking asshole! Since there’s only one person who delivers that mail, I suggested that he might be the problem and was instantly informed that he was back there listening and what about him? So I simply said that he owed me a tidy sum of $$$, which he does, and left to the sound of the postmaster complaining that he was going to write up a report on all this and he’d never had to write up a report before and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

He must have had a little talk with the route courier because that jerk showed up at my door with my mail in hand, looking very angry, and told me that he’d have my money by next Friday. So I opened the screen door, took my mail from him and said “Thank you” and he walked away.

Two things here. If he got into trouble over all this, he brought it all on himself and he needs to direct that anger accordingly. The other is that he did lose mail and/or misdirect it, because about the same time mine disappeared, he delivered 2 letters to me that were not mine and one even went to a different street entirely.

Running a business is enough trouble without the mailman losing your inventory and giving other people your credit cards, and postmasters need to keep their concerns focused on their customers and not whether one of their screwups is going to make them look bad.

After leaving there this morning I found myself once again wishing I had a button I could push that would instantly wipe out the vast majority of humanity. Christmas never really got started for me this year and it’s definitely over, I can tell.

POPE SUCKS JESUS’S DICK FOR CHRISTMAS

Monday, December 25th, 2017

Picture of the Pope sucking baby Jesus's dick.

Any questions?

I HAD A DREAM JUST NOW

Saturday, December 23rd, 2017

I did, I took a late afternoon nap and before waking up just now, I was dreaming that Europe was saving itself from the horde of migrants that are destroying their entire way of life along with their economy.

In my dream, many of the people had risen up and started attacking and killing the migrants in their camps and as they moved in crowds along the roads, by ambushing them from hidden places and shooting them with arrows and anything else they had. Even, in my dream, lobbing mortars into crowds of them and killing many of them.

All this time, the message was going out to them, “Get out of France, get out of Europe, go back home.” They were told that no one would be killed who was heading back the way they came, and before long, first France and then the rest of Europe was free of these people. And then I woke up.

I’ve no idea at all what prompted my brain to come up with that. I wasn’t thinking about anything like that when I fell asleep. I don’t really wish for a slaughter of people, most of whom are just seeking a better chance in life, but I do wish that the good, average citizens of Europe, who are oppressed by their Globalist leaders, would rise up and take their countries back.

My Christmas wish for them is that they expel both their leaders and the migrants and re-create the democracies some of them used to have and that they all should have.

That’s the great thing about wishes, we can wish for anything even when we know that some of them or even all of them will never come true. It’s like having your own personal star in the sky.

OH! AM I ON FIRE?

Wednesday, December 20th, 2017

There is a banner I put put in front of my shop, by the street, every morning. It says “CRAFTS” in great big yellow letters, on a very bright red background that’s over 2 feet wide. The banner is 12 FEET TALL. It gets attention.

The banner flies alongside a large sign mounted on a steel pole, that says
ART
CRAFT
&
HOBBY
SUPPLIES

in Bright Red letters on a white background. You can’t miss it.

In the front window of my shop hangs a 7-foot long, 2 foot wide sign with Bright Orange letters on a very brightly colored background, that says CREATIVE CRAFTS. The entire sign has a trim of bright, flashing LEDs around it’s edge.

SO. This morning a young lady with a little blonde-haired boy was going back to her car, which she’d parked directly in front of my store, in order to go to a shop 4 doors down. Her little boy ran into the open door of my store so she went in after him to get him back, and the first thing she said when she went inside was to exclaim “OH, IT’S A CRAFT STORE”. Jesus goddam christ. No shit, lady.

‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOWLY

Friday, December 15th, 2017

Ride that reindeer

Ho ho etc. Merry Christmas and stuff. I just got through chasing 3 tramps off the front porch of the house across the street, who were sitting at the little table set out there by the owners and having a fine time laughing and joking, right up until I shone a flashlight in their eyes and told them that they should leave before the sheriff gets there, because I’m about to call him.

I walked away and when I looked back they were hightailing it down the road. The last thing we need in this neighborhood is to allow these bums to take over someone’s unoccupied home and start stealing everything in the neighborhood to sell for food, because otherwise that’s what would happen.

Earlier, at the shop, I saw a couple of these scum pull the damaged flag holder out of the ground in front of my landlord’s antique store, and ran out and took it back from them. These sons of bitches take anything they can get their hands on. I said it was damaged because some other one of these assholes had stomped it until they’d bent it over flat to the ground.

There’s a goddam plague of homeless bums around here this winter. The local sheriff’s substation deputies did a sweep-out program last month, but the bastards are plainly back again. I wish Santa would take them all up in his sleigh to about 10,000 feet, and then shove them out. Ho ho ho.

If these people were truly victims of a bad economy and were honestly looking for work, that would be great, I’d sympathize and give them some help. But they’re not, they’re bad people and parasites who bring crime and harm, and my Christmas Wish is that they all get to spend this Christmas and the entire winter in some nice, warm, cozy jail, far away from here.

NO LONGER A MATTER OF CHOICE

Sunday, December 10th, 2017

Because of the following report, it is no longer a matter of choice whether to leave N. Korea alone or not. Either China forces them to dismantle and abandon their nuclear and ICBM programs or we have to attack them and do it for them. There’s no other choice.

Getting China to do this will require the Chinese to understand that if they don’t it will bring disaster down upon them. Short of that threat, they will continue to aid and abet the efforts of N. Korea to destroy us. Why? Because they’re the ones who promote this and want the N. Koreans to succeed, in their plan to conquer the world. Sounds a little farfetched? It’s not.

The report I’ve linked to was written by two members of the former congressional EMP commission – Dr. William R. Graham and Dr. Peter Vincent Pry. Dr. Graham is a physicist who was a science advisor to President Reagan and administrated NASA. Dr. Pry is a former CIA officer responsible for analyzing Soviet and Russian nuclear strategy, who has served on numerous congressional boards related to security. They clearly state that one hydrogen bomb exploded from a great height in the right place would knock out almost all of our electrical and electronic infrastructure and cause the ultimate deaths of as many as 90% of all Americans.

They’ve advised President Trump of this danger, which is exactly why he’s working so hard to get Chinese cooperation to end the threat. Since the Chinese are loathe to do this and extremely unlikely to do so even under the most dire of threats – because they’ve been planning this for so many decades – we will have to take on N. Korea by ourselves. I only hope that when we do, both the Chinese and Russians have the good sense to keep their armies on their side of the border, or things will go from very bad to terrible in a hurry.

MEET MY SON, KURDISTAN

Friday, December 8th, 2017

Went to the rock hound club meeting last night and there were some new faces there, people who’d come in to check it out, and among them was a forty-ish couple with a teenage daughter. Very pretty young girl with a very direct stare, which I found a little disconcerting, but otherwise she seemed to be a nice young lady.

What I want to know is WHY are some parents so stupid as to give their children names that are burdens? The mother wore a rather booze-damaged looking face, so maybe the use of alcohol and drugs had something to do with her naming that young lady ALASKA.

When that girl said her name was Alaska I had to severely stifle myself, as a horde of jokes and puns immediately entered my mind, such as Baked Alaska, and, What did you have against Nebraska? Any relation to Arkansas? And so on.

You don’t name your children after states or countries. I’ve always thought that Paris Hilton was a really arrogant, stupid name that only a too-rich snob would ever give a child, but I guess any stoned idiot can name their child Afghanistan or Maylasia, you don’t have to be rich, just totally unconcerned about the lifelong burden you just placed on your newborn.

KEEPING PROMISES

Tuesday, December 5th, 2017

President Trump is keeping another promise he made America and our ally Israel by declaring Jerusalem to be the capitol of Israel and starting the process of moving our embassy there from Tel Aviv. In doing this, he’s telling not just the Arabs of the world but the entire world that the United States is an ally of Israel, and at least as strongly an ally to them as to any other nation. He’s putting the world on notice that a line has been drawn.

This is a special message to Islamists and Globalists, a statement that we side with Israel against them, and a particular message to the Saudis, that we are now putting Israel first before them. The ugly days of Obama’s embarrassing hatefulness toward Israel and Muslim favoritism are over.

Erdogan, the dictator of Turkey that those people so foolishly elected, stated today that “A red line has been crossed.” His red line, an Islamist red line, yes, and if any of them react by attacking Israel, they’ll suffer serious consequences as a result. We have an air base within Turkey’s Tikrit Air Base and we provide a lot of income to Turkey through that and other, regular commerce between our nations. That can end if Turkey crosses OUR Red Line.

Erdogan should be careful of what he says, Pres. Trump is known to retaliate against words as well as deeds. He’s not a good person to threaten.

For years the Muslims have been threatening that Holy Hell would break loose if the United States dared to declare Jerusalem the capitol of Israel. Well, now they can show us what they’ve got, and then we and the Israelis can go ahead and stomp them flat for it, and no one will be able to blame us for doing it. This is an open declaration of war against all enemies of Israel, by both of us together, Israel and the USA, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Donald Trump’s Presidency is better to me than the Second Coming of Christ.

THE SPARKELHARDT CONFARCTION, OR…

Monday, December 4th, 2017

What the hell did I just say? Dang, forgot again. Another brilliant outburst gone south. Or was that east?
Memory. It’s about memory. The older people get, the more noticeable it becomes that some of them don’t remember things well. There was an old gal in the shop the other day who couldn’t stop talking, nothing unusual in that since most women love the sound of their own voice, but this one kept stopping while she searched for particular words that she knew but just couldn’t squeeze out of the cortex and into the frontal lobes.

She referred to these blockages as “Senior Moments”, and in truth, I’ve been having them for quite awhile. My command of the English language would have failed me completely if it weren’t for typing away in this blog every so often, as I often get stuck for that exact word that describes my thought more than any other. For me that’s more because of my lack of interaction with other people than anything else. What you don’t use, you lose.

However, yesterday I was reminded that my memory can play other tricks on me, and it freaked me out. It very honestly did.
I was talking to a young lady whom I’d previously been comparing in my own mind to another young lady I know, for various non-sexual similar traits. That’s right, I’m not a dirty old man and shame on you for what we all know you were thinking. Anyway, while talking to her, I referred to something the other young lady and I had done as having done with this one, which confused her pretty thoroughly until it dawned on me what I’d done, and that she was not the one. Now, THAT was a Senior Moment. I was seriously embarrassed by that and more than a little upset with myself for doing it, since it frankly scared me pretty good because the idea of becoming senile is to me the worst thing that can happen short of being slowly flayed by a horde of sadistic lesbians.

After sleeping on it and getting some mental distance from my initial reaction, I realized that it was just part of my lifelong disconnect from humans. Being around other humans tends to be stressful for me. The shop works okay for me because there’s a counter between me and those who come in the door, to keep them from actual contact, and that way I can be nice and calm and assured while conversing. But when I’m face to face with many people, I find myself wishing I were alone in the woods or some such. Yesterday was one of those occasions, and now I realize that the reason I made such an odd error is simply because I was wishing I was in the company of the other person instead.

However, it is also symptom of aging. I would never have done that when I was younger. Mistake one person for another, yes, we all do at some time, but not with these two people who look nothing alike at all. So it’s back to taking my Vitamin B Complex once again, something I’d spaced out doing. The B vitamins keep the brain train on its tracks and there’s nothing like the good, hard slap of a Senior Moment for a reminder. I must remember to take my vitamins if I’m going to live as a genius forever like I intend.

GENERATION OF TWEAKERS

Friday, December 1st, 2017

Today a young lady came into my shop who’d been in there once before. She looks to be about 7 months pregnant, maybe more. The last time she was in, she behaved normally, but this time she was plainly high on meth.

Lo, The Great Black Sheep sees the future of this young woman AND her unborn child, using my incredible powers of prognostication and Far Sight, I see… I see… This addicted person giving birth to a meth addicted baby and then feeding her newborn the milk from her breast, that’s contaminated with the methamphetamine that she continues to use.

I see this helpless infant grow up to be a meth addict just like her mother.

And you know, I don’t even need a crystal ball to see the futures of these two, the born and unborn.