THE SPARKELHARDT CONFARCTION, OR…

What the hell did I just say? Dang, forgot again. Another brilliant outburst gone south. Or was that east?
Memory. It’s about memory. The older people get, the more noticeable it becomes that some of them don’t remember things well. There was an old gal in the shop the other day who couldn’t stop talking, nothing unusual in that since most women love the sound of their own voice, but this one kept stopping while she searched for particular words that she knew but just couldn’t squeeze out of the cortex and into the frontal lobes.

She referred to these blockages as “Senior Moments”, and in truth, I’ve been having them for quite awhile. My command of the English language would have failed me completely if it weren’t for typing away in this blog every so often, as I often get stuck for that exact word that describes my thought more than any other. For me that’s more because of my lack of interaction with other people than anything else. What you don’t use, you lose.

However, yesterday I was reminded that my memory can play other tricks on me, and it freaked me out. It very honestly did.
I was talking to a young lady whom I’d previously been comparing in my own mind to another young lady I know, for various non-sexual similar traits. That’s right, I’m not a dirty old man and shame on you for what we all know you were thinking. Anyway, while talking to her, I referred to something the other young lady and I had done as having done with this one, which confused her pretty thoroughly until it dawned on me what I’d done, and that she was not the one. Now, THAT was a Senior Moment. I was seriously embarrassed by that and more than a little upset with myself for doing it, since it frankly scared me pretty good because the idea of becoming senile is to me the worst thing that can happen short of being slowly flayed by a horde of sadistic lesbians.

After sleeping on it and getting some mental distance from my initial reaction, I realized that it was just part of my lifelong disconnect from humans. Being around other humans tends to be stressful for me. The shop works okay for me because there’s a counter between me and those who come in the door, to keep them from actual contact, and that way I can be nice and calm and assured while conversing. But when I’m face to face with many people, I find myself wishing I were alone in the woods or some such. Yesterday was one of those occasions, and now I realize that the reason I made such an odd error is simply because I was wishing I was in the company of the other person instead.

However, it is also symptom of aging. I would never have done that when I was younger. Mistake one person for another, yes, we all do at some time, but not with these two people who look nothing alike at all. So it’s back to taking my Vitamin B Complex once again, something I’d spaced out doing. The B vitamins keep the brain train on its tracks and there’s nothing like the good, hard slap of a Senior Moment for a reminder. I must remember to take my vitamins if I’m going to live as a genius forever like I intend.

One Response to “THE SPARKELHARDT CONFARCTION, OR…”

  1. x says:

    Just back from holiday in crappy Malta and got into a total panic when the airport bus dropped me at the “wrong” plane. On checking my boarding pass, found it wasn’t and I had got it into my head that it was a different airline.

    Still, reassuring that my memory is still better than some quite a few years younger than me. A neighbour often tells me the same thing two or three times within minutes.

    PS Slowly flayed by a horde of sadistic lesbians? Sounds fun!

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