MADURO MADNESS

In the News: Trump just told Venezuela’s Commie dictator to take his family and flee from Venezuela or he would be killed, and now we all wait with bated breath to see what happens next.

I couldn’t resist using that expression, “with bated breath”, because no one does anymore and when it rarely is used, the idiot who does so always spells it “baited” because the meaning of the word “bated” is all but lost. Bated is a shortening of the word Abated, and means Held, in the case of breath. People are holding their breath in anticipation. Bated breath.

Moving right along, the newscasters are all telling us that Trump has Venezuela “surrounded”, which is a damn neat trick considering it’s our navy that’s doing the surrounding and Venezuela is actually surrounded on all sides but one by other South American nations. The one side that isn’t faces the ocean and the US Navy ships. So a little verbal accuracy here might be in order.

Maduro bears a striking resemblance to Joseph Stalin, the Russian dictator during the second World War and some years after. Ever notice? Funny how so many of the worst dictators are all of a type. Like Italy’s Mussolini. Just pointing that out.

Anyway, I’m wondering if Mexico is next on the list after Maduro is dethroned. Trump’s been threatening to wipe out the cartels and this is all about ending the drug traffic, after all. Or SUPPOSEDLY. I say that because he’s throwing most of the US Navy at Maduro’s regime but refused to allow Israel to bring regime change to Iran, that’s spread and financed terrorism way beyond the Middle East and wants to start a nuclear war. That just isn’t right. What’s up with that?

When I was a little boy, before our family was moved to the desert by my idiot father because he wanted to be a cowboy like in the movies and life went totally to dysfunctional shit, before then when we still lived in the city, and Christmas came near like it is doing now, I would wait with bated breath for Christmas Day to see what was in those packages with my name on them, under the Christmas tree. It’s an expression, okay? You don’t really stop breathing.

Since I don’t give a tinker’s shit whether Maduro flees into exile or gets blown into a pink mist along with his wife and kids, I’m not holding my breath waiting to find out. I wouldn’t want to know in advance anyway, that would be like spoiling the movie, knowing how it ends before even watching it. However, I do hope it involves lots of explosions and body counts and devastation, those massive, mile high columns of black smoke are a real trip to see as they happen and it’s mostly over now in Gaza. I’m ready for another war.