FUN FAMILY FACTS

Totally burnt out on writing about all the crazy shit going on in the world so I thought I’d write a little about my crazy family.

My family is genetically sociopathic, to the point of being murderous. Fortunately, the worst among us are dead now, but not before some of them caused some serious mayhem.

My father was the worst that I know of because he used to kill people for sport. I found this out when he bragged to me about doing it when I was only 12 years old. He and a bunch of his Sheriff Deputy friends used to get up on top of a high berm overlooking the train tracks, out in the desert, and shoot the Mexicans riding on top of the freight cars, who came in to work in the bean and lettuce fields. I know those weren’t the only people he killed but he never told me about any more of these little adventures of his, because he suddenly realized that he’d run his mouth too much when I looked at him, amazed, and said “But Dad, that’s murder”.

When I said that, the light suddenly came into his eyes and he jumped up, got in his pickup truck and drove off.

My father actually hated me because I wasn’t blonde and a psycho like my brother and his son. In fact he doubted I was his son at all. He treated me pretty badly but it was my brother, 2 years older than me, who really hated me.

He tried to kill me on several occasions, he got me to cross a busy street alone at the age of 4 and against the light. Fortunately the car that hit me only broke a leg and it was a minor fracture. He tried to get me to electrocute myself, to swim too far and drown myself, things like that. But even as a tiny kid I knew better than to do some of the things he tried to talk me into.

I think he hated me simply because he didn’t want any competition, he wanted to be the only child, so killing me or helping me to get killed seemed like a good idea to him to get what he wanted.

If you ever watched that old movie, “The Bad Seed”, that was about a young girl who caused peoples deaths, but that was also my brother.

No idea why, but I just wasn’t born with their genes. I was pretty much the opposite of them and that made me an outcast, as well as a handy victim.

My father had two brothers, and the youngest one was also a nice guy, for the most part. He was a hell of a lot nicer than the rest of them, anyway, which made him the Least Favorite Son in that family, of course, just as I was Least Favorite in mine.

My father’s parents are long gone, dear old Dad died 34 years ago from stomach cancer, an ending he deserved, colostomy bag and all, and his brothers died in the next few years. My brother died 9 years ago from a very painful and self-inflicted bone marrow disease, I’m happy to say. It took him years of this to finally succumb to it and he was miserable the whole time, so he provided free gratis the revenge for me that I deserved to have, and I didn’t have to do a thing to get it.

I’ve written about this stuff here before, the only reason I’m doing so again tonight is because I’d totally forgotten about the time he tried to get me to drown when I was 6, until just now. You just never know the things that will inspire you to write.

Also it’s on my mind how the world really is full of very fucked up people. I have a little house I rented out and ended up having to file eviction when the tenant quit paying rent and it took a year and 5 months under California’s horrible landlord-tenant laws (worst of all 50 states, fact) to finally get him out, and he left the place a total pigsty mess, with trash and garbage everywhere and lots of damage as well.

So no more renting, I’ll get it all repaired once again and sell it. The tenant had lost a good government job from using drugs, and turned to selling drugs from his home. Soon my little rental was one of the hot go-to spots for drug addicts.

You see? It’s everywhere. All the fucked-uppedness is everywhere. If there’s chaos where you live, welcome to Everywhere. Quiet, peaceful, affluent neighborhoods are an illusion. It’s like watching the beginning episodes of The Walking Dead, where people are barbecuing hamburgers in their back yards, thinking everything is okay, while the zombie plague is spreading closer and closer to them.

Everything is not okay. Everything is going totally to shit and it’s all planned and on purpose and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I tell ya, this is a wonderful time to be really old, like me and a truly sucky time to be young because yeah, your life is NOT going to improve with age. I got to live in the Last Golden Age us humans are ever likely to see again. I’ve seen our world while it was still beautiful and pristine, when there were 2.26 billion people on the entire planet instead of 8 billion plus, when there were forests and deserts and mountains that were untouched and glorious. The streams were the purest water and full of fat healthy fish, you could go most anywhere and just camp out under the stars and feel safe. There were no freeways and the tallest building on Earth was the Empire State Building.

We all die, and in the long view it really doesn’t matter when. What matters is the life we lived and what our world was like for us when we lived in it.