GETTING JESUSED

Just reading our weekly newspaper, it’s almost always there on my driveway early in the morning, and there in the back, occupying a full half of the top half of the page is an obituary of some woman who just died. She was really big time into her church and religion, which no doubt is why she got such a huge write-up, that and there’s not much else to talk about around here anyway, so why not?

But it made me think, I mean, she was two years younger than me when she died and I’m well along in them there years, ayup, so if I want a big write-up when I croak, maybe I should get my unbelieving ass over to one of the local churches and start getting Jesused up. Help with the rummage sales, go door to door Witnessing For The Lord and making a total buttpain out of myself For Jesus, lead prayer groups For Jesus and all that stuff so I can be rewarded with an oversized obituary that people won’t read.

OR, I could cancel my newspaper subscription and never see another obituary and totally stop caring, OR I could learn to tap dance, Or I could take up knitting.

My best friend in all the world, who never showed a sign of being religious when we were young and doing things we managed to get away with, is Jesused up now. Old people do this shit because they want to Live Forever And Walk The Streets Of Gold In Heaven With Jesus The Lord.

Believing is not a substitute for knowing. Believing is just pure laziness and cowardice, it’s so much easier to believe what you want than to accept what is, and it feels a lot better, most times, too, which is why most of us drown ourselves in fallacies.